Eat Shit

Throw Money was last years tour, 2020 theme: Eat Shit

Yes, I am working here, destination MKE set on Uber.

Driving near Waubeka 10 days ago, felt tears, dwelling on how my life gets better every fucking day! Delta Dawn was playing on Apple Music, the 4 new Polk speakers were adding comfort to my 319,009 miles old Civic Hybrid, Milo – The Milage Pig.

One of me started laughing, you earned it, you worked hard, you are awesome said I to my Uber Driver. Ping, says 45+ miles on the app. Off to The Hobo Truckstop in Cedar Groove, life gets better, always, somehow.

Pull up, some ancient fuck is my pickup, tell him I’m having one of the best days of my life.

“Fuck You, I’m having a shitty day” got kicked out of my truck need to get to court in Cook County.

Let’s turn it around says the Uber Driver, I grab. His five shitty bags full of shitty stuff and we are off.

Nods, prompts positive insights and killer tunes surround a man who tells me his life story for an hour straight,

She’s proud of the story, waiter at The Brien Derby, band played at The Roxbury, cool shit, cool stories, brother was head of Hollywood Hell’s Angels, step daddy beat the good boy out of bim, he was a drug fueled Rock N Roller headed straight to my car on a free fall of shit, drugs, rubber rooms and his savior Jesus.

He had hair like mine, women loved him, he lives in some shit nowhere outside of Phoenix. Wants to Rock, but too old.

He is feeling great, arms spread wide proud as fuck.

My turn, he hears about the tears, happiness and awesome, I share his name Michael, he is slightly older than me, looks like old shit, or worse.

If I can roll through Sheboygan Wisconsin as a Rock Star, he can sure as fuck roundup 2 dudes in shitsburgh and play a local bar says the Uber Driver.

Your a bass player, not a front man, nobody gives a shit, either you lost it, or never had it.

Why did it feel necessary for me to add that his nosedive life sunk faster after finding Jesus?

Dropped him off at what looked like some jail or prison, no money left for Uber, no Job, five shitty bags, court hearing in an hour, needs to get to AZ, and the Chicago Skyline is popping all around him.

I call Sara, will be late for my haircut, at Cook County Jail!

She’s laughing, being my old college roommates wife, she’s used to laughing. I ensure her it’s true, still want in today, my app says it’s been over 2 years.

2 hours later, I’m in the chair, no mention of this by either of us, plenty of other shit to discuss.

My life gets better everyday, every fucking day

By shevegas